Verbal Bullying

What is Verbal Bullying?

Verbal bullying is a serious problem.  Unfortunately, adults sometimes brush off reports of this kind of abuse as “normal” behavior.  Children are sometimes told to toughen up when they complain about being called names.  While this might be good advice in some instances, parents should realize that living life under a constant barrage of name calling can have serious long term effects on a young person.  Verbal bullying often seems, at first, like simple name calling that occurs during childhood, but it differs in that it is often an ongoing problem.  Parents and teachers are unaware of it much of the time because it usually takes place when authority figures are not present.

Bullying in schools has gone on for years. Derogatory comments and name calling are two forms of verbal abuse that are all too common in many schools and in society in general.  Bullies sometimes learn that making fun of another child will draw laughter from peers.  It should be pointed out to such a child that their behavior is inappropriate.  Very young children might not understand just how much they can hurt others by teasing them repeatedly.  Students that are dealing with bullies often suffer from thoughts of suicide, depression, low self-worth and health problems. Many of them also end up with poor grades as a result of not being able to properly concentrate on their studies while they are in school. The effects of this abuse can last a lifetime for these students, and when a child reports being bullied, it should never be taken lightly. The trouble and pain caused by verbal bullying can last well into the adult lives of their victims.

It is time to teach all kids to stop bullying.  The idea of treating others the way that we would like to be treated should be instilled at a very early age.   Bullying statistics show that over 20% of our kids that are in grades 4 to 6 have been bullied several times. While there is no way to compile a complete list of all of the problems and solutions, there are things that we can do right now to help stop the verbal bullying that goes on every day.

As parents and educators, one of the best ways to stop bullying is to speak up and become involved. This should be a principle goal for all of us. Encourage your children to tell someone if they are being bullied by others. Do your part to keep the lines of communication open with your son or daughter. Try to engage your child to take part in activities that will help to boost their self esteem.  Perhaps most importantly, we must serve as role models and demonstrate self confidence.  We should model the behaviors that we want our children to learn and put to use.

If you are the parent of a child who is a bully, talk to your child. Never ignore the verbal abuse or physical abuse that your child is inflicting on other people. It is not a normal part of growing up to abuse others. The time to teach children how to properly interact with others is while they are young. If you are accepting their bullying behavior at a young age, you are only asking for major problems later on. If you cannot get through to your child, ask for help. There are places to seek out counseling that will help parents to learn how to deal with bullies.

Verbal bullying needs to be stopped in its tracks. With the number of school shootings and teen suicides on the rise, it has become evident that the old adage about sticks and stones is no longer true. Some of the children who have been verbally abused one time too many are not handling it well.  When these students end up on the nightly news, friends and relatives often acknowledge that there was a prior bullying problem that never was resolved.  No child should ever feel that they would rather be dead or be pushed to the point of shooting classmates because they can no longer handle the painful ridicule that dealing with bullies is causing them.

Here are a few practical ways to react and deal with with verbal bullies and some final thoughts on the topic:

• A sense of self confidence can be like a suit of armor.  Some bullies search out victims who appear to be weak and vulnerable.  Stand straight, act in a confident manner (without being cocky) and take pride in yourself.  Try being friendly and getting involved instead of always choosing to stay on the fringes of the group.
• If you are a parent, realize that you need to take the time to teach your child some proper social skills.  Encourage them to play with other children and to take part in social interactions with peers.  This is not a skill that we are born with.  Give your child the opportunity to get involved and make friends.
• If your child tells you that he or she is being bullied, don’t automatically assume that they are overreacting to the situation.  Give them the benefit of the doubt and find out what is going on.  If they are blowing things out of proportion, talk to them about what constitutes bullying and what is simply a one time occurrence that they should learn to ignore.
• Sometimes it is wise to avoid situations where bullying is likely to occur.  This is not to say that anyone should spend their days hiding, but there is no reason to look for trouble with a known bully.
• Teach children some verbal self defense techniques.  These are basically ways to diffuse a bad situation by knowing the right thing to say.  There are several books devoted strictly to verbal self defense techniques.  If you suffer from verbal bullying or any type of verbal abuse, you might want to check them out.  These are NOT meant to be snappy comebacks that will antagonize the bully.  Rather, many of them are based on redirecting the attack or bringing the intensity of the situation down a few notches.  We all have a tendency for either fight or flight when we are confronted with a bullying situation.  Knowing some verbal self defense techniques can help to keep things under control and de-escalate the situation.
• If you find yourself being verbally bullied or abused, do not hesitate to get help.  Bullies count on the reluctance of their victims to ask for assistance.

Tags: bullying help, bullying in schools, bullying statistics, dealing with bullies, easing the teasing, how to deal with bullies, stop bullying, verbal bullying, ways to stop bullying

Category: Bullying Help, Stop Bullying